The Viz Profanisaurus: Hail Sweary is available in all good bookshops priced £9.99.A new mobile application for Viz's famously racy Profanisaurus of "degenerate definitions" has launched on iPhone and Android.ĭennis Publishing, the owner of Viz, said that the paid-for app will feature 12,000 definitions from Roger Mellie's alternative thesaurus, including such gems as "quantum w**k" and "knuckle glitter". Then, when sales die down after Christmas my agent’s pencilled me in for a heart attack scare in mid-January to get the PR ball rolling again. Lots of newspaper interviews, I’m on Desert Island Discs in a couple of weeks and I’ll be doing the big chat shows. Q: What are your plans for the next six months?Ī: Now that my new book Roger’s Profanisaurus: Hail Sweary (Dennis Publishing, £9.99 from all good bookshops) is out, I’m on the publicity treadmill. And it means I can charge an extra 500 for opening a carpet warehouse or supermarket.
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But it’s the greatest honour for any British citizen to be recognised by the Queen, really. Q: Is it true you received an MBE? How was it meeting the Queen?Ī: Yeah, an MBE or possibly an OBE. They want to sack them both and get Tarzan Heseltine and Mad Dog Prescott in charge. Q: Who would win if David Cameron and Ed Miliband had a “straightener”?Ī: I wouldn’t put my money on either of them, to be honest. I’ve got a meeting with him this morning, as it happens, an hour ago. There’s a top tip for you – you won’t get advice like that on .Ī: Yeah, he’s still around. These days I stay in on Mondays with a bongo vid. Before the credit crunch I was out at Spearmint Rhino seven nights a week. Q: Has the country’s recession had an effect on you?Ī: I think we’ve all had to tighten our belts since the economy went t*ts up. And if you don’t know what that means, you’ll find out by reading my new book Roger’s Profanisaurus: Hail Sweary (Dennis Publishing, £9.99 from all good bookshops). Q: Away from the cameras how do you relax?Ī: I relax in a gentleman’s way. It’s called Call My F**king Bluff or F**king Call My Bluff. It’s a version of Call My Bluff but instead of the Oxford Dictionary all the words come out of my new book Roger’s Profanisaurus: Hail Sweary (Dennis Publishing, £9.99 from all good bookshops). Q: Do you have any new programmes in the pipeline?Ī: I’ve got a great format that Channel 5 is very interested in, actually. Q: If you could pick the other housemates to join you, who would be your choice?Ī: Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, erm.Gillian Taylforth. would you ever go on Celebrity Big Brother?Ī: You’ve got to put beer in the fridge, haven’t you? And a job’s a job.
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I was very drunk.ĭREAM HOUSEMATE: Paris Hilton is on top of Mellis' Big Brother wish list Actually, it might’ve been the Pussycat Dolls come to think of it.
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The greatest thrill I ever had was going back to my hotel room with two thirds of Atomic Kitten. The first time I saw my new book Roger’s Profanisaurus: Hail Sweary (Dennis Publishing, £9.99 from all good bookshops) there on the shelf, it was the greatest thrill I’ve ever had.
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Q: Do you prefer being on TV or being an author?Ī: Author, definitely. Fluffed a few of the foreign names but luckily nobody noticed. Anyway, yours truly stepped up to the plate and did the job. He’d spent the afternoon in the BBC bar with Moira Stuart and I think they’d been doing shots. One tea-time Robert Dougall was supposed to be reading the news but, not to put too fine a point on it, the old soak was p*ssed as a fart and couldn’t go on. Q: How and where did you get your break in TV?Ī: I got a job as a runner at Television Centre straight out of school. LEGENDARY: Roger Mellie talks about his new autobiography